Episode Intro:

Baby Seraphina was conceived in surrogacy. Our modern-day culture has determined the ideal surrogacy story to end with the intended parents of the baby lovingly cradling their newborn in their arms. It ends with the surrogate mother overjoyed to have helped the intended parents have a baby of their own. But ideal endings aren’t ensured, especially in such nuanced and complicated situations. It all becomes particularly dangerous when it’s real human lives we are meddling with. Seraphina was at one point a very wanted and cherished baby. So what happened between then and the moment her parents offered a $10,000 bribe to have her killed? What happens when there are life-and-death conflicts of interest in surrogacy situations? This is what the true story of baby Seraphina explores.

Podcast Intro:

You’re listening to Conceiving Crime, the podcast dedicated to investigating crimes past and present involving sex, procreation, pregnancy, birth, and all things human reproduction. I’m your host, Sami Parker. See the full show notes & links to resources from this episode at ConceivingCrime.com.

Crystal Kelley

Back in 2011, Crystal Kelley wanted to give the gift of a baby to a family who couldn’t have children. In a CNN article covering this story, it’s said that Crystal had two previous miscarriages which sparked a desire in her to help couples who struggled with infertility. Crystal was also a single mother with two young daughters and could have benefitted from the money being a surrogate mother could provide. I don’t know exactly how old she was at the time of this story, but based on available information we can estimate she was 28 or 29.

So, she signed up to be a surrogate mother for a couple in her state of Connecticut. There aren’t many details provided anywhere online about this couple, and their names have not been released. We do know they had three children already- 2 boys and a girl. Crystal said she felt an immediate connection with the couple. When she met up with them, the kids were playing with their dad on the playground. Crystal and the children's mother were standing to the side, chatting and happily watching the kids play together. Crystal said it was obvious that the couple loved their children. 

She quickly decided this was the pair she’d be a surrogate for. Later that same day, she sent an email to the agent for her surrogacy saying she’d love to move forward and help these parents have another child.

Then, Crystal signed the contract. The contract that later in this story, proved to be pivotal in determining what happened with the life of baby Seraphina. 

Brief History of Surrogacy

The concept of surrogacy dates back to our ancient history. One of the first known recorded surrogacy stories is in Genesis, the first book of the Bible. Abraham was promised that his lineage would become a great nation, and that his offspring would be as numerous as the stars. So when he and his wife, Sarah, struggled to conceive but grew older and older, he became doubtful of God’s promise. So Abraham and Sarah took it into their own hands. Sarah suggested Abraham sleep with her slave, Hagar. He did, and Hagar bore a son named Ishmael. The story between Hagar, her son, Sarah, and Abraham gets messy especially when Abraham and Sarah do eventually successfully conceive and their son Isaac is born.

Another one of the first stories including surrogacy took place in Sumerian Mesopotamia in the middle of the 18th century BC. Sumer surrogacy was fully legal and widely used. If an infertile wife gave her husband a slave, the husband would impregnate the slave. They would take the baby born to the slave and raise him or her as their own.

Surrogacy was also a widespread practice in ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome. 

With today’s technology to assist, modern surrogacy options have attempted, and to some degree succeeded, to remove the explicit physicality that historical surrogacy required. In other words, the man no longer has to actually have sex with the surrogate woman. Instead, they would go through the process of artificial insemination, which is when a doctor inserts sperm directly into a woman’s cervix, fallopian tubes, or uterus with a thin, flexible catheter. 

According to worldwidesurrogacy.org, the first legal surrogacy was drafted in 1976 when a traditional surrogacy took place. Traditional surrogacy, according to the National Cancer Institute, is when a woman “carries and gives birth to a baby for a person who is not able to have children. The woman who is the traditional surrogate can either get pregnant by artificial insemination with sperm from a sperm donor, or her eggs can be fertilized in the laboratory with sperm from a sperm donor to make an embryo.” 

So, in 1976, a California couple advertised for a woman to be artificially inseminated and carry the child through birth. A woman responded to the ad and requested $7,000 as compensation, as well as having medical and legal costs covered. Noel Keane was the attorney who drafted the surrogacy contract- though from what I’ve read- did not include compensation for the surrogate. Most states banned surrogate compensation at the time, but other than that, there weren’t many laws clearly outlining the permissibility of surrogacy agreements.

The famous case of Baby M took place in 1986 when a woman agreed to a traditional surrogacy for a couple that couldn’t conceive on their own. The surrogate mother gave birth to the baby, who, because of the nature of traditional surrogacy, was biologically her child as well. After giving birth she said she couldn’t give the baby up. She wrote her own husband's name on the birth certificate and named the baby herself. Even though originally it was agreed that the name of the baby would be of the intended parents' choice, and the intended father’s name was to be placed on the birth certificate. Eventually, the court determined to grant custody to the intended father, who was also the biological parent of the baby. This case shone a spotlight on the need for specified surrogacy laws and clear legal contracts, as well as providing appropriate support to the parents and surrogate.

The case of Baby M, as well as advances in technology, popularized the more modern version of surrogacy where IVF is used, so the surrogate mother has no biological relationship with the baby. Her egg is not the one being fertilized as it would be in traditional surrogacy.

To briefly describe it, IVF is when eggs are retrieved from the ovaries of a woman, and sperm is retrieved from a man. Masturbation is the most frequent method to collect sperm for IVF. From there, the eggs are fertilized by the sperm in a lab to attempt to create an embryo, a human at its beginning stage of life. Oftentimes, multiple embryos are created and stored by freezing them. A few days after fertilization, either one embryo, or multiple are transferred to a woman’s uterus with the hope of the embryo implanting into the uterine wall. If the embryo implants, it is considered a successful transfer. If the embryo fails to implant, it will die and is therefore considered a failed transfer.

Using IVF for surrogacy is what has been coined as “gestational surrogacy.” In gestational surrogacy, the intended father's sperm and the intended mother's eggs may be paired. But there are different variations in whose sperm and eggs will be used- sometimes being those from donors.  Gestational surrogacy removes the biological relationship between the surrogate mother and baby.

This is the kind of surrogacy used in the story with Crystal Kelley, and it’s the most popular form used today. 

According to People magazine, the parents Crystal was to be a surrogate for had two embryos left that were nearing the end of their five-year storage time to figure out what to do with them. They were seemingly desperate to have another child. They had two children, they were just dependent on a womb, and successful implantation. Crystal was ready to offer just that.

Rising Action (cont)

The pregnancy began just fine. 8 days after the embryo transfer, Crystal discovered she was successfully pregnant. The biological mother would text or email Crystal nearly every day with excitement about her child. They’d talk back and forth, curiously wondering whether this baby was a boy or girl. 

18 weeks into the pregnancy, Crystal went in for an ultrasound and found out the baby was a girl- something the biological mother was thrilled over. The baby girl was eventually named Seraphina, so I’ll start calling her that now. Between 18 and 22 weeks of pregnancy is typically when the prenatal anatomy scan of the baby is conducted. 

Until I became pregnant myself, I only loosely knew what a baby in the womb around 18-20 weeks looks like. When I saw my baby on the ultrasound, it blew my mind. We were counting his fingers and toes, visualizing the profile view of his face, and measuring how long each of his arms and legs were. By now, the preborn baby responds to touch, and the nose and lips have been fully formed for weeks. They have fingerprints now, and it’s also usually when the pregnant mom is able to feel movement from her baby. 

So, at the anatomy scan, an ultrasound tech checks the development of all the organs and body parts of the baby- down to individual fingers and toes. This is the scan that can typically detect certain congenital defects, which are structural or functional anomalies. If the tech can’t properly see certain organs or parts from all angles, which often happens when the baby is sleeping or facing a direction that isn’t favorable for the ultrasound, the pregnant mother usually has to return within 2 weeks to try again. 

I explain all of this because the same happened to Crystal. She was told they couldn’t see Seraphina’s heart well enough- so she was scheduled to return in 2 weeks for a 20-week scan. It was at that scan that this once-blissful relationship between Crystal and the intended parents began to fall apart. 

Here’s the clip from a CNN interview with Crystal talking about this fateful ultrasound scan  

Crystal: “She said ‘pray for a little girl, I want a little girl.’”

Interviewer: “And she got a little girl… was is the little girl she wanted?

Crystal: “No.”

Surrogacy Agreements - Background

A surrogacy contract is a binding legal document between the biological or intended parents and the surrogate mother. The contracts are usually tailored to fit each specific surrogacy agreement, but overall, these contracts exist to protect the surrogate mother as well as the intended parents. They cover a lot of the “what if” scenarios and state the responsibilities of both parties throughout the process and beyond. 

At the beginning of her surrogacy journey, Crystal Kelley and the intended parents went through the legal process of surrogacy. While they were going over the contract, there was something about the abortion clause that didn’t sit right with Crystal. 

In the original contract, the intended parents could ask for an abortion at any time, for any reason. It’s important to mention here how exploited this could be. That could mean if the baby ended up being a boy when the intended parents wanted a girl- they could ask for an abortion. If the baby had even the slightest anomaly in her health, the parents could ask for an abortion. That’s not rare, by the way. The original contract allowed for exploitation in so many ways.

Crystal said she wanted this entire clause taken out, but ended up settling on an agreement where abortion could only be an option if the baby had a severe fatal abnormality determined by a 3D ultrasound. This is a quote from Crystal, reflecting on signing the contract agreement.

“I thought there was such a small chance that anything was going to happen. I absolutely regret that. It’s tough to think back on.”

At Crystal’s follow-up ultrasound around 20 weeks, it was discovered that Seraphina had a possible heart defect. From our sources, it sounds like the biological mother was already notified by the hospital of this possible defect- before Crystal could tell them herself. I'm speculating here- but it’s very likely the biological parents are called with medical updates by hospital staff as soon as they arise. This was what the parents said when they called Crystal about Seraphina:

“My husband and I have really thought about this and discussed it. We have had preemies and we know what challenges preemies face and we really don’t want to bring another disabled baby into the world.”

Crystal quickly became worried- this wasn’t even a determined diagnosis, much less a fatal one. All the parents and Crystal knew at this point was that a heart defect was possible. This is how Crystal responded:

“Let’s remember we talked about this. I’m not willing to terminate a pregnancy for a child with a disability. I’m not terminating the pregnancy unless the baby is going to die.”

A few days later, Crystal had another ultrasound appointment, where it was confirmed that Seraphina did have a heart defect. On top of that, she had a cleft lip and the ultrasound tech couldn’t locate her stomach. At this point, the intended parents were clear that they wanted Crystal to abort baby Seraphina.    

This is a clip of Crystal talking about Seraphina after the parents gave their demands. 

“I refused, I couldn’t do it. I was the one feeling her kick and squirm. I knew she had a fighting spirit, and I wanted to fight for her”

To which the parents responded: 

Crystal: They said that they didn’t want to bring a baby into the world only for that child to suffer. They said that I should try to be God-like and have mercy on the child and let her go

Interviewer: And what did you say?

Crystal: I told them that it wasn’t their decision to play God

After this exchange, it’s written that the parents never spoke to or saw Crystal again.

From here, all communication was through either the agent for Crystal’s surrogacy or a lawyer. 

When Crystal again declined to have an abortion, the parents tried to bribe her into one, offering $10,000 to Crystal. 

Crystal was a single mother, with a daughter of her own that, in a stinging irony to the story with Seraphina, had undergone heart surgery and fully recovered. But, Crystal could have certainly benefited from an extra $10,000 to care for her kids. Money was tight. But Crystal ended up declining the bribe.

On February 22, 2012, six days after the fateful ultrasound, Crystal received a letter. The parents had hired a lawyer.

“You are obligated to terminate this pregnancy immediately,” wrote Douglas Fishman, an attorney in West Hartford, Connecticut. “You have squandered precious time.”

On March 5, Crystal would be 24 weeks pregnant, and after that, she couldn’t legally have an abortion in the state of Connecticut.

“TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE,” he wrote.

Fishman reminded Kelley that she’d signed a contract, agreeing to “abortion in case of severe fetus abnormality.” The contract did not define what constituted such an abnormality. “Kelley was in breach of contract,” he wrote, and if she did not abort, the parents would sue her to get back the fees they’d already paid her — around $8,000 — plus all of the medical expenses and legal fees.

And yet, Crystal still refused the abortion.

Legally, the parents couldn’t force Crystal to have the abortion. So instead, they threatened her by putting Seraphina’s life in an even more vulnerable state as a child with a disability. They told Crystal, “if you have this baby, we’ll give her up and she’ll become a ward of the state.” 

Now, this aspect of the story is particularly disturbing to me when I think about it. Not only were the parents going to extreme lengths to ensure Seraphina wouldn’t live, but when that didn’t work, they did everything in their power to ensure that if she did live, she wouldn’t have it easy. The foster system is a hard place for any child, let alone a child with disabilities. 

I think back to the parents Crystal met at the playground and wonder how they turned to this for their own daughter. 

Crystal wasn’t the biological mother of Seraphina, but I don’t think anyone could claim she wasn’t Seraphina’s mother at all. For months, Crystal and Seraphina were connected in the deeply spiritual process that is pregnancy. The connection a pregnant mother has with the child growing inside of her is undeniable. It was discovered in 2003 that babies in utero recognize their mother’s voice and then actually prefer it after birth. Babies can hear their mothers from at least 16 weeks, and pregnant moms are encouraged to talk with their babies often to bond.  This intimate, special relationship isn’t because of the genetic similarities between the two- it’s also largely because of the close and miraculous connection that is pregnancy. 

And yet, this process commodified Crystal- it turned her into more of a product or a rental, rather than a mother and a human. As soon as it was discovered that the baby wasn’t neurotypical, or physically typical, Crystal was seen by the intended parents as much more of a rental unit rather than the once-miracle-provider they originally hailed her as. 

Without question, the process also commodified little Seraphina, who became a mere product being created for a buyer. This surrogacy story highlights the dangers of treating humans like commodities.

The goal of surrogacy is beautiful, bringing a child into the world. But the means we will go to bring the child into the world can be morally and legally precarious and often places lives in danger. It can also strip children of their biological mothers.

What spoke to me most about Crystal’s character was how far she went to protect Seraphina. After the intended parents of Seraphina threatened to hand her over to foster care if Crystal declined the abortion, she faced an even more challenging situation. In the state of Connecticut, even if Crystal gave birth to Seraphina, there wasn’t any way she could have had parental rights. Seraphina would have become exactly what her parents described: “a ward of the state.” She likely would have entered foster care, and there was nothing Crystal could have done about it. That’s if she stayed in Connecticut. By now, I’m sure you can guess that Crystal chose otherwise.

Within a matter of days, she packed up her car and her daughters and started a two-day journey to Michigan. Under Michigan’s state law, she had legal rights as Seraphina’s mother. She lived in an on-campus apartment at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor where she and her two young daughters anticipated the birth of Seraphina. 

Crystal had no job and little money after moving states away with her daughters. She knew she wasn’t in the best situation to raise a third daughter with guaranteed medical expenses. But she’d gone this far to protect Seraphina. Through a good friend, Crystal found a woman who was a mom to seven kids already, several of which had disabilities. After growing a connection with her, Crystal asked if she would adopt Seraphina, to which her new friend accepted. 

As for the legalities between the original parents of Seraphina and Crystal, and now an adoptive mother, there were still things to be decided on. 

According to People Magazine, The babies father eventually gave up his parental rights under the condition that he and his wife could keep in touch with the adoptive family about the baby. They also demanded information about the birth and wanted their name on the birth certificate.

Baby Seraphina was born on June 25, 2012 and according the Crystal, Seraphina did amazing. 

She was born with heterotaxy syndrome, which resulted in her heart defect and some of her organs being in the wrong place. Seraphina also had a brain malformation called holoprosencephaly, where the brain fails to sufficiently divide into its two hemispheres. 

She certainly had a fight ahead of her. I don’t want to minimize the fight she gave for her life. But that didn’t stop her from living the life Crystal knew she deserved to be given the chance to live. One of joy, one of hope. 

Another quote from Crystal, “It’s pretty vindicating, I guess, because everyone else wanted to give up on her…She’s always been a fighter. She was feisty even when I was pregnant with her.” 

“She doesn’t let things hold her back. It makes me feel great, but I knew she was going to be like this.”

At the time of the People magazine interview, Seraphina was 3 years old. After Seraphina was born, Crystal still visited her twice a year in Michigan.

This is a quote from the mother who adopted Seraphina, Rene, who we’ll address now as Seraphina’s mother. Because in all ways other than biological- she certainly was.

“What drove the conflict when Crystal was pregnant with her, was whether or not she’d have a meaningful life. And I think without hesitation, the answer to that question is yes, she did. Seraphina had a very, very meaningful and happy life.”

Seraphina learned to communicate through American Sign Language and mastered the wheelchair. Her favorite thing to sign was “I love you.” Seraphina’s mom recalled that every time she signed it, she’d add a little kissing sound. From everything you can find online about little Seraphina, this girl lived a beautiful and meaningful life. 

Seraphina died at the Boston Children’s Hospital. She died in the process of undergoing a needed surgery. She had just celebrated her 8th birthday. Her life story is ultimately one of love. One of life.  

Cultural Change

Surrogacy is oftentimes heavily romanticized. This story marked a bit of a turning point in the conversation regarding surrogacy. I understand why it’s so easy to romanticize, though. The concept of a mother and father who aren’t able to conceive naturally being given a way to have a biologically related child seems like a beautiful one. It seems like the perfect answer to a heartbreaking situation.

But treating children like products to be created, bought, and sold has many implications. Stories like Crystal’s prove that much. And people noticed the flaw, you might too: the commodification of a human being, or maybe multiple human beings, in the process of surrogacy.

The story of Crystal so confidently defending Seraphina says a lot about her character, though. She was declining bribes, fighting lawyers, and being told by people all around her how cruel she was for declining to have the abortion. All the while, being a single mother to two daughters and pregnant with a baby girl who, for a good period of her pregnancy, had been abandoned by the parents who wanted her in the first place. Accepting the $10,000 and getting the abortion would have been the route to, for lack of better words, get Crystal out of it. 

Seraphina had an incredible impact; her story confirms it. Not only to those around her but now to me. And hopefully, to you too. To end this story, here’s a piece from her obituary, that gives us a glimpse into the beautiful life she had with her family.  

“If there was a swing somewhere, she found a way to swing in it. If there was a body of water, she wanted to play in it. If there was a book to be read, she found a way to get someone to read it. If she had a story to tell, she always found a way to share it.

Her joy and excitement over the simplest things were the best part of every day life. There wasn’t a single morning at home where she failed to express a delighted astonishment at the very idea that she was now awake. There wasn’t a single evening that she didn’t drop everything and insist on being held by her father as soon as he came home from work.

Seraphina embodied the idea that happiness is contagious and she was at the heart and soul of her family life because of it.”

Thanks for listening to Conceiving Crime. If you liked this episode, be sure to leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.